Nice Mom
by theypreferthetermpeople
Summary: Though Stef thinks their kids only confide in Lena, Mariana needs her Mom for some reassurance.


_This story is set some time vaguely in the second half Season 2 and is a reaction to the scene in 2x14 in which Stef claims Lena is "nice mom" and that kids only go to her "when they want a push." So here's a kid going to Stef "when they want a hug," and how both she and Lena react to it._

* * *

"Hey Mom?"

A quiet voice pulled Stef from her magazine and she looked up and over the rim of her glasses to see Mariana standing at the edge of the room.

"Yeah, sweets?"

"Can I... Can I talk to you for a second?" The teen bit her lip, looking worried.

"Sure," Stef agreed, taking her glasses off with one hand. "What's up, babe?"

Mariana stood mutely in the doorway gazing at her feet, her hands twisting in front of her. Stef frowned, tilting her head. This wasn't the usual "Can I talk to you" that meant she wanted something or needed to know when dinner was. This was clearly something more serious. Setting aside her reading materials, she patted Lena's spot on the bed.

"Come sit, honey," she invited, and Mariana, still seeming hesitant, complied. Stef placed her hand on her daughter's knee. "What is it?"

"I..." Mariana swallowed. "Ana contacted me again."

Instantly, Stef's eyes widened and her grip tightened. Mariana reacted to the tension by moving away, preparing to get off the bed.

"Never mind, I shouldn't-"

"No, no, no, sweets. Come back." Stef tugged on her arm. "Come sit." The girl complied, and Stef surveyed her face with pursed lips. "You said _she_ contacted _you_?" she clarified.

"Y-Yes."

"Why? What did she say?"

"That she wants to see me again. To apologize. That she's changed, and she wants to know me better."

Stef checked the hasty words of anger that rose to her lips at the sight of her daughter's tears. This wasn't the time for her own reactions to Ana Gutierrez and her unbelievably forthright attitude. This was time to take care of her baby.

"Yeah?" she said softly. "And how do you feel about that?"

Mariana couldn't restrain herself, and a few drops of moisture slid down her cheeks. "I don't want to know her. I don't want her to be my mom."

"Oh, baby," Stef breathed, reaching out to rub Mariana's shoulder.

"It makes me so mad that she can do this," Mariana continued, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. "That she thinks she can just come back into our lives like this. That she thinks she _deserves_ it."

"I know, sweets. I know."

"And it makes me even madder that I _let_ her," she added, fresh tears spilling over. "That no matter what I do, she _is_ my mom, and she'll never go away. I've been nice to her, I've been mean, I've given her money, I even got my own mom _shot_ , and she just... She's always coming back. I can't get rid of her."

Stef gathered Mariana into her arms and rocked her as though she were a much younger child, murmuring, "Shh, shh, hey, it's okay, you're okay." Once the shaking had subsided to the occasional sniffle, she pulled back, holding her daughter by the shoulders and looking directly into her eyes.

"Listen to me, baby. It was not your fault that I got shot, okay? I wasn't. I made the choice to go into that house. I made the choice not to wear my vest. Okay? You did not make me do that. And that..." She rubbed her lips together, trying to sort the words out in her mind. "That's a risk I take every day in my job, sweetheart." She could see from Mariana's downturned eyes that she didn't believe her. "It's a risk I choose to take," she repeated. "And it is never your fault when someone else makes a bad or dangerous choice, okay? You are only responsible for you. It's not your job to take care of me. Yes?" She gave Mariana a little shake and then cupped her chin in her hand, directing her eyes upward. Mariana nodded slowly, still fighting back tears. "Okay." Stef embraced her again, letting Mariana bury her face in her shoulder and absorb the warmth of being loved.

"I wish you were my real mom," Mariana mumbled into Stef's shoulder.

"What's that, love?" Stef asked, leaning back and bending down to hear better.

"Nothing."

"No, what, baby?"

"I said I wish you were my real mom. I wish she wasn't related to me." A new rush of emotion overtook Mariana, who bent in half with the pressure of it. It made Stef hurt, physically hurt, to see. After a moment, when Mariana sat upright again, she grabbed her hands.

"Listen to me, Mariana. You are my daughter. Mine and Mama's. And nothing could ever change that - not Ana, not anyone. Okay?" She pressed her lips together, trying to stop her own tide of tears from brimming. Mariana just nodded, biting her bottom lip. "You are my daughter," Stef repeated. "Always." And she pulled her into another hug.

It came so quietly she wasn't even sure she heard it - the little whisper of, "Mommy" against her shoulder. It just made her cling more tightly to the beautiful girl in her arms. The beautiful daughter she was oh so lucky to have.

* * *

That evening, while Lena was applying her lotion and Stef was buttoning on her pajamas, Mariana came into their room again, this time with a small, slightly sad smile.

"What do you need, sweetie?" Lena asked, pulling down one leg of her pants.

"Just wanted to say goodnight," Mariana replied softly, crossing over to her. "Night Mama." She bent down and hugged Lena, a tighter embrace than her mother had expected.

"Goodnight baby. You okay?"

"Yeah. I love you, Mama."

"I love you too, Miss Thing." Lena looked quizzically at Stef, who didn't respond, as their daughter had now come over to hug her, which she returned with equal strength.

"Goodnight Mom. I love you."

"Love you too," Stef responded, giving her three firm forehead kisses before she let go.

Lena stood up from her chair, craning her neck to see out their door. Once they heard the slam of Mariana's bedroom door, she turned to her wife.

"What was that about?"

Stef began to remove her jewelry. "She got in contact with Ana again."

"What?!" Lena moved to the edge of the bed instantly. "When?"

"A couple of days ago, I guess. Ana sent her a message asking to see her again."

"Did she go?"

"No. She came to talk to me today. She was feeling pretty guilty."

"About what? If _Ana_ reached out to _her_ -"

Stef shrugged, sitting down with a sigh. "She still feels responsible for the shooting," she explained, shaking her head. "And for all the shit- crap- _stuff_ Ana has brought into our lives."

Lena gave a half-smile in appreciation of her wife's attempts to sensor herself, but quickly moved back to the topic at hand. "You said she came to you today?"

Stef nodded. "To tell me about Ana, and to apologize, which of course I told her was not necessary, and that the shooting wasn't her fault. But she's really struggling, Lena. With being related to Ana at all, even without having a relationship with her. She feels so bad for even having that blood connection." Scooting under the covers, she added, "It'll break your heart when I tell you what she said to me."

"What?" Lena asked, rolling over onto her stomach and propping her chin on her hand, brow furrowed.

"That she wishes we were her 'real moms,'" Stef said, putting air quotes around the phrase. Lena's face fell instantly. "Not like that," she hastened to explain. "Not like she doesn't love us and feel like we're her moms. But like she didn't feel like she was really our daughter."

"That's almost worse," Lena replied. "I'd rather she not love us than think we don't love her."

"I know. But she knows we love her, Lena. She's just... worried. Insecure. This is a hard time for her."

"I know. I just wish it didn't have to be like this. I wish we'd gotten them when they were babies, protected them from all of that."

"I know." Stef held out her arm, inviting her lover to rest her head on her chest. She kissed Lena's forehead the same way she'd kissed Mariana's, and held her tightly. "But we can't change the past, babe. All we can do is be here for her."

"Yeah," Lena agreed, sighing herself and snuggling closer. Then, after a moment of silence, she interjected, "Stef?"

"Yeah honey?"

"Look who's Nice Mom now," she teased, craning her neck to look at her partner's face. Stef rolled her eyes and leaned down to kiss her.


End file.
